Human beings are social by nature. We thrive when our relationships are harmonious, nurturing, and free from unnecessary expectations. Yet, many of us struggle because we unconsciously impose our desires, beliefs, and judgments on others. In this blog, inspired by Swami Mukundananda’s wisdom on relationships and timeless spiritual teachings, we will explore four powerful ways to accept others for who they are.
This principle is central to building healthy relationships, whether with family, friends, colleagues, or society at large. Just as plants flourish in companion planting, people, too, can thrive when they support one another without judgment or excessive expectations.
Why Acceptance Matters in Relationships
- Expectations lead to frustrations. When we expect people to think, behave, or feel a certain way, disappointment follows.
- Selfishness undermines harmony. As Swami Mukundananda reminds us, “In every relationship, the perspective often is: What will I get out of it? This ego-driven view destroys love and trust.”
- True acceptance builds joy. When we let go of our rigid standards, we create space for others to be authentic.
Just like the "three sisters" in gardening—corn, beans, and squash—that help each other grow, relationships too become fruitful when rooted in mutual respect and acceptance.
Sanskrit Perspective on Acceptance
The Bhagavad Gita beautifully explains the need for balance, empathy, and selflessness in relationships:
“Uddhared ātmanātmānaṁ nātmānam avasādayet”
Elevate yourself through your mind, and not degrade yourself, for the mind can be the friend and also the enemy of the self. (BG 6.5)
This verse reminds us that our mind’s perspective determines how we see others. If we cultivate empathy, others become friends. If we cling to ego and expectations, even loved ones feel like adversaries.
The Four Ways to Accept Others for Who They Are
1. Let Go of the Expectation of Perfection
We know the phrase “to err is human.” Yet, we hold others—especially family—up to impossible standards:
- “My child should have scored better grades.”
- “My spouse should have known what I wanted.”
- “My friend should always agree with me.”
Instead, Swami Mukundananda advises:
“Be lenient when it comes to judging others, and strict when it comes to judging yourself.”
Key Practice: Next time someone makes a mistake, remind yourself: They are learning, just as I am learning.
2. Respect Differences in Preferences
People differ in likes, dislikes, and lifestyles. One person may love reading quietly, while another may enjoy social gatherings. Neither is wrong.
- “It’s not that one is right and the other is wrong. It’s just that people are different.”
When we stop comparing and start appreciating differences, relationships blossom.
Practical Tip: Instead of forcing your interests, try stepping into their world. Join them once in their activity, and let them join you in yours.
3. Don’t Expect Others to Read Your Mind
One of the most common relationship traps is unspoken expectations. For instance:
- A wife may expect her husband to take her out for dinner on her birthday.
- The husband, unaware, buys a thoughtful gift.
- Instead of joy, disappointment brews—because the expectation wasn’t communicated.
Lesson: Nobody is a mind reader. Communicate your needs openly instead of assuming.
“A healthier way would have been to communicate the desire herself.”
4. Avoid the Trap of Transactional Thinking
Many people think relationships should be like balanced business contracts: “I cared for her, so she should care for me.” But life does not always give back equally.
Swami Mukundananda emphasizes:
- Relationships are not about give-and-take tallies.
- True love is selfless, like God’s unconditional love (Agape) for His children.
Practice: Replace “What will I get?” with “How can I give?” This mindset builds long-term joy.
Shifting “Should” Statements to Empathy
We often trap ourselves with rigid shoulds:
- “My husband should come home on time.”
- “My child should behave perfectly in public.”
- “My boss should always appreciate my work.”
These “should-statements” stem from entitlement and lead to bitterness.
Instead, try reframing:
- “My husband is working hard to support the family.”
- “My child is still learning emotional regulation.”
- “My boss may have challenges I don’t see.”
By moving from entitlement to empathy, we free ourselves and build healthier bonds.
Insights from Generational Interactions
From the Tidbit on Multi-Generational Interactions, we learn that generational misunderstandings also come from assumptions and a lack of acceptance.
- Older generations may expect younger ones to value stability.
- Younger generations may expect elders to embrace flexibility.
Swami Mukundananda’s reminder:
“Even ONE gem of divine knowledge has the power of transforming our lives, if we ponder over it deeply, believe it totally, and implement it.”
By applying these gems, acceptance bridges generational gaps.
Practical Tips to Build Healthy Relationships
Here are quick, actionable reminders:
- Listen actively – Try to understand before responding.
- Let go of small irritations – Not every battle is worth fighting.
- Express gratitude – Thank others for their efforts.
- Communicate clearly – Don’t expect unspoken needs to be met.
- Practice self-awareness – Notice your own judgments before pointing out flaws in others.
FAQs
Q1. Why is accepting others important in building healthy relationships?
Acceptance reduces conflict, lowers stress, and allows people to feel valued. It strengthens trust and nurtures emotional safety, which are essential for healthy relationships.
Q2. How can I stop expecting perfection from others?
Remind yourself that mistakes are part of growth. Shift your focus from criticism to encouragement. Practice the mantra: “I am not perfect, so I cannot expect perfection.”
Q3. What is the spiritual perspective on acceptance?
The Bhagavad Gita (6.5) teaches that the mind can be our best friend or worst enemy. Acceptance comes from mastering our mind’s tendency to judge, and instead choosing empathy and compassion.
Q4. How do expectations damage relationships?
Unrealistic expectations lead to frustration and disappointment. They create emotional distance because others feel judged rather than understood.
Q5. Can acceptance mean tolerating toxic behavior?
No. Acceptance does not mean condoning harmful actions. It means recognizing people’s nature while setting healthy boundaries.
Q6. How can I apply acceptance in daily life?
- Reframe “should-statements.”
- Appreciate differences in opinions.
- Communicate openly instead of assuming.
- Focus on giving, not receiving.
Call to Action
"Swami Mukundananda Official Youtube Channel."
"Bhagavad Gita Krishna Bhakti Channel"
Key Takeaways
- Acceptance is the foundation of healthy relationships.
- Four obstacles to avoid: perfectionism, forcing preferences, mind-reading, and transactional thinking.
- Shift entitlement into empathy to experience peace.
- Spiritual wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita reinforces acceptance as a path to harmony.
- Healthy relationships thrive when rooted in selflessness, communication, and gratitude.
References
- Swami Mukundananda. 4 Ways to Accept Others for Who They Are – Building Healthy Relationships. Transcript.
- Swami Mukundananda. Morning Gems Tidbit – Multi-Generational Interactions. July 2025.
- Bhagavad Gita 6.5. holy-bhagavad-gita.org.
